There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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