i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
