im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
