too bad you live with your parents still
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
