This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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