We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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