mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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