help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Is it penis luge time yet?
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
