There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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