I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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