There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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