I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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