you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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