Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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