Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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