I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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