bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
