i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
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