he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
