i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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