had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
where are you?
Hypothermia
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
