I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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