she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Randomize
