I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
