wat bout pragnant strippers??
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
