I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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