i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
