I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Randomize
