Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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