You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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