I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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