the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
