I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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