The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
