This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Randomize
