There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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