we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
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