shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
where are my eyebrows?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
