whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
