The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
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