you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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