Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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