My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Randomize
