I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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