brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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