"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
