Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
