just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize