There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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