Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize
