we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
