what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Randomize
