Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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