Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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