32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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