Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
