Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
