The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
