i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize