we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
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