Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Randomize
