Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
