why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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