Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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