sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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