Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
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