its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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