Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Randomize
